Oh How I Do Love Thee Heathers

via piccsy

I usually hate American high school movies. Their protagonists are all just too focused on prom, cliques and finding a girl/boyfriend - usually to the point where it makes me feel like regurgitating whatever I ate last. I fail to relate to these bubblegum pictures of the 'typical teen' because they often forget to portray the issues that I struggle with in my adolescence. Instead they create new, perfect and simple representations of teenage girls with questionable 'problems'. Oh yeah, my life is sooo intense, like, who the frig am I going to take to prom? The thing that these 'films' love to silence is that the 'average' teenager's life is more overwhelmingly complex than most of their characters'.

One rare film of the genre to break this mould is Heathers, which is quite possibly one of the best movies I have ever had the pleasure to watch. The protagonist, Veronica Sawyer, (Winona Ryder) is a cynical and witty girl trapped within the confines of the popular clique, the 'Heathers'. That's right, all of her friends in this group are called Heather. They're all bitches too, with their leader maliciously ruling the school through a combination of sex appeal and intimidation. All of the Heathers revolve around what you could call the Mother Heather, while Veronica exists in a vicious state, hating her narcissistic friends and moaning about them in her diary. Everything changes with the appearance of the new kid, Jason Dean (Christian Slater).

I absolutely refuse to tell you anything else in fear of ruining it, but I will assert that this film is twisted, dark and ferociously funny. I laughed my way through it and relished every line as nearly every one is amazingly quotable. I mean, could you get any better than Heather Chandler's "fuck me gently with a chainsaw, do I look like Mother Teresa to you?". And it's the eighties! The eighties are flippin' boss to watch. I wish Hollywood would produce more teen material like this, with just the right touches of sarcasm and wit along with subtle references to classic literature embedded within the script. Heathers gets four and a half stars.

★★★★ (and a half - don't laugh at my technological retardation)