Reserving the Right to Jam Snobbery

via weheartit

Before beginning, I will clarify that I am NOT a food snob. I love the convenience of cake mixes, frozen meals and powdered drinks. I mean, if it tastes good, its artificial evil can be temporarily ignored right? (Cue untimely death) However, when it comes to the delicate subject of spreads, I am very particular in my tastes in a particular sort of way. As far as I am concerned there are two very important jams to be aware of and in a sense, they are the ultimates. They are the Voldemort and Harry Potter of jams. Maybe not that ultimate, but they are immensely significant in that they are alike in varying ways but they are different.

What are they? Meet raspberry and strawberry jam. Two opposing but very similar looking forces. On one hand, there's the conventional gunky tasting bright red strawberry and on the other, the sweeter, less common, darker raspberry. If ever you are going to serve me toast, please note that I am a raspberry girl all the way. Raspberry jam is tops. Strawberry jam is not. While some (most) of society will not care for my particularity about this condiment, I will openly reserve my right to my shunning of strawberry jam. No, it is not because I am a pedantic hipster who cares only for insignificant entities. It's something that I'm placing into my mouth and allowing to pass through my digestive system, should that not grant me the right to jam snobbery?

Since no one within my company has seemed to allow me this, I in my all new level of sad have approached the internet. Even if the minute percentage of the world's population that reads this blog does not approve of my condiment obsession, I do not care. I shall never waver from my tastes in jam and if that is so wrong, then I shall just enjoy it all the more as a sick pleasure. Anyone up for a jam sandwich?