It is Tuesday, 11 December, 2012. There are 10 days until the supposed end. People have started to panic. I have read statuses on Facebook asking if anyone would like to spend the next two weeks swapping saliva and being impregnated (or whatever they need a boyfriend for) and I have read job adverts (hopefully) jokingly implying that all applicants should hurry before the world ends. Soon, I suspect that there will be shortages of canned food, torches and battery powered radios. Or maybe not. Y2K was only a decade ago. Hopefully the majority of the human race can remember it and maybe overlook the terribly misinterpreted message of the Maya.
I do have one word to equate all of this apocalyptic bullshit to. Hollywood. The film industry has fed off our fear, like one giant crooked dementor, raging not for our souls, but for our attention and our money. Yet if you know me, you'll know if there's one thing I love, it's irony. This apocalyptic season, I plan on watching only the finest in dystopia, delivered by Hollywood itself. In order to find the biggest and the best I asked the only the biggest and best experts. Not really, I just asked some blogger gal pals over Facebook.
MEG: The Day After Tomorrow which I don't remember seeing but the ads used to freak me out a lot. 2012 was cool because of the hot Russian dude but other than that was shit. Do zombie apocalypse sort of movies count as the end of the world?
ELLEN: The movie Knowing... It's like a scifi movie but it's about the world ending and these people's children being the next generations adam and eve. It's a Nicholas Cage film, enough said.
MEG: 28 Days Later is pretty cool. The main character is a complete idiot and he probably should have died but the zombies were cool. Looking forward to when I get around to watching 28 Weeks Later.Zombieland was amusing. Cool take on the whole zombie virus thing really.
I can't think of anymore off the top of my head right now...
Ellen, that sounds cool
SARAH: Yeah, dystopia + bible references + incest + Nicholas Cage = quite a watch. (Ellen liked this)
ELLA: How about the movie Melancholia and Another Earth?
ELLEN: Melancholia is amazing!
SARAH: What's Melancholia about?
MEG: I want to see that! Sarah, this is what IMDb says it's about: "Two sisters find their already strained relationship challenged as a mysterious new planet threatens to collide with the Earth." Also, I think that Dogma can totally fit this criteria
[NB Meg and I are both Dogma fanatics. As far as we're both concerned, it's gospel. Any Dogma reference is a fabulous reference.]
SARAH: Totally. If there was going to be an apocalypse, I'd like to think that two fallen angels named Matt Damon and Ben Affleck had something to do with it.
MEG: And that Chris Rock, Jay and Silent Bob and Alan Rickman would be part of a team trying to stop it.
SARAH: Don't forget Salma Hayek.
MEG: How did I forget Salma? I wish I was a prophet so I could hang with Jay and Bob
SARAH: I know right! Although Jay and Silent Bob would hit on you constantly. Those boys are desperate for some skirt
MEG: Yeah but I would find them some skirt elsewhere and we would all basically become bros that spread the word of God and stop Matt Damon and Ben Affleck from destroying the world.
SARAH: I just want to be God in that movie. You know when you see God and (s)he is just smelling flowers and doing cartwheels?
MEG: I think that is exactly what God should be like. I feel like watching it again but I won't because I will save it for rainbow pancakes.
SARAH: I am so pumped for rainbow pancakes at yours. I seriously do bags a pink one, otherwise there will be an apocalypse.
After this exchange, I watched the other film that Ella had mentioned, Another Earth. It had a promising central concept as mentioned in the title. There is another planet, that is exactly like Earth. It is discovered that everyone has a twin living on Earth 2 that is identical in every way, even in their past lives. WHAT. However, I had mixed feelings upon the ending credits. If you don't appreciate a very gradual movement in plot and action, this film is definitely not for you. In that, it will slowly tear at your fast paced or even merely moving loving self. Note that it does break the criteria by not portraying an end of planet Earth.
Otherwise, I wish all the very best for the 'end' and the actual end of the year. Have a very happy apocalypse!